Jaded

30 years of battles, setbacks, & failures. Adapting to whatever I needed to be and do. So yeh, I'm a little hardened.

I was always Daddy's girl, his special princess. But then when I was seven my Daddy left us. I remember lots of yelling. And when he disappeared I felt like I disappeared as well. It was like my mother just looked right through me -- like she looked through the sheer curtains on the kitchen window that kept our secrets from the neighbors. I get it now, that she was probably doing all she could to keep it together, but all I knew at the time was that my world had fallen apart. My new stepfather appeared on the scene a few years later, and I became Daddy's girl again. Only in a different way. I wasn't supposed to tell Momma. It was our little secret. Another secret that was kept from the neighbors. I used to stare through those curtains and imagine a beautiful life full of wonderful things.

I left home as soon as I could when I turned 18, and found out that I had a way with men. Sure, some of them have been jerks, so I just zeroed in on the jerks with money. I've learned. Why not? If they can use me I can use them. There are worse ways to keep a nice roof over my head, wear designer clothes, and eat good food. My current husband is loaded, and we travel a lot. We have a beach house in Destin and a condo in Aspen. He was from Belle Meade, and so now I serve on committees for all kinds of charity events. I'm a pillar of the community! So maybe my daughter hates me and my son is a mess. I can't fix everything. They've got to figure it out for themselves. I've done what I needed to do to survive. I've not only gotten by, I've gotten ahead.

You want to call me Jaded? Maybe so, but don't judge me unless you've been there, and then tell me how YOU would have handled it.



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