Heart of Glass

A young girl in her twenties, tough but fragile

Mom is an addict. There, I've said it out loud. I've know it for a long time, before I knew the correct words and terminology. But this is the first time I've actually SAID it. She uses pills. She goes from Dr. to Dr. to get the drugs she wants and she's a pretty good actress. My teachers don't know - nobody knows. But sometimes she loses track of how much she takes and then I have to deal with it.

Dad left a long time ago and I don't blame him. I see him once every few years, when he shows up for my birthday. He's nice and I wish he would want me to live with him, but he never brings it up and so I don't either. But I miss him. Bad. I keep his picture under my mattress so Mom won't find it and get mad.

Last year I was all excited to go to senior prom with a really sweet boy. I had the dress, which Mom helped me buy on one of her good days. We picked out the jewelry and I had an appointment to get my hair done that afternoon.

When I got out of school early that day, I got home and Mom was lying on the floor passed out. She had OD'd. I called 911 and waited till the ambulance got there. While I was waiting I called the nice boy and told him the prom was off. I was too embarrassed and ashamed to tell him why. I just broke down after that. I cried all night while I waited at the hospital. It took 12 hours for them to stabilize her and determine that she was going to be OK. After she got home and regrouped, she said we were leaving this stupid town. She wanted a fresh start so we packed it all into a U-Haul and took off.

I really wanted to graduate and start my own life and figure things out on my own, but I don't feel like I can leave her, you know? What if I hadn't come home that day? I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. Like at any moment everything could shatter.

Like I could shatter. Like I'm made of glass.

Glass 1
Glass 2
Glass 3